Dreams...

RICH: Why you gotta subscribe to Robb Report and Luxury Lifestyle Magazines? JOE: Cant a brother dream, yo? RICH: Dream or Fantasize? Order Home Depot, Crate & Barrel or something. JOE: Let me be, Rich. RICH: I have, Joe and look where you at. On my couch going on 2 years. JOE: You want me to leave! RICH: Yes. JOE: Aight cool, gimme a year, yo. RICH: What! Go to Rich and Joe community page on Facebook.

Drinking out the carton, yo

RICH: Someone slipped a note under our door. JOE: What it say? RICH: Says "Rich, ur nasty roommate drinks out of da cartons of juice at night. Watch him" JOE: WTF! Who wrote dat? RICH: Is dis true, son? JOE: Who wrote dat, yo? RICH: I dont no, Joe. We got 3 alleys & 6 windows surrounding us. Whoever can see our kitchen coulda wrote it. Now is it true? JOE: Dey lying, yo. I use a cup den wash it. RICH: Yeah its true

Funky Ass Subway Ride

JOE: Yo man, NYC subways are crazy I aint taking da train no more. RICH: What hapn? JOE: 2 Train a lil crowded. So a normal looking woman gets on. I get up & offer her my seat. No what dis chick do? RICH: What? JOE: Squat down & smell da seat. She stand back up talkin bout no thanx, u got a Funky A#$. RICH: Say word. She crazy. But ummm... did u wash dis morning? JOE What, yo!

There's a girl in my bed, yo

RICH: Son, there's a girl in my Bed. JOE: Oh damn, I thought u was staying at Lisa's. RICH: Even if I was; dat don't give u da right 2 violate my private space, yo. U got a stranger lying where I put me head. JOE: Chill Rich, its a female, yo; how bad can dat be? RICH: Joe, her feet is where my head be at & she got both my pillows crunched btwn her legs. I dont no dis chick, son. JOE: Me either, I met her at Mars 2112.

Who stole da Ciroc?

RICH: U went 2 Kev's 2 play spades last nite? JOE: Yeah he had a card party. RICH: He called me dis morning. Somebody stole a 64 oz. bottle of Ciroc Red out his crib. JOE: He think I did it? RICH: He just asking around. Did U? JOE: Man it was like 40 people in his house. Why he asking U about me? RICH: Joe, did u? JOE: Mike was there. Jojo & his cousin. Larry. RICH: Yeah, U took it. Jello shots tonite, son or I'm dime'n you out. JOE: Okay, yo.

Job Interview Facebook Fail.

JOE: How'd ur Job interview go? RICH: Didnt get it. JOE: Sorry 2 hear that. What hapn? RICH: Some idiot posted a pic of me on Facebook posing wit 2 guns in my hand & a joint in my mouth. JOE: Cant B ashamed of ur past, yo. RICH: Son, did I give u permission 2 post me online? JOE: It was just a picture from 87' aint no harm in that. RICH: The job was 4 a Brinks armored car guard, yo; and U tagged me idiot!. JOE: They saw that? RICH: What!