JOE: The metaphor, don't make a bed in a burning house. What does that mean? RICH: I don't know, I sleep on the couch.

Snoring too Loud

RICH: Neighbor said you snoring too loud. Keeping her up at night. JOE: I'm not snoring too loud, just dat da walls is too thin. RICH:  Joe, she's 3 stories above us in Apt. 5B. JOE Tell her to close her window den. Sound travels, yo. RICH: Just get help, son.  

Shitzu Love

JOE: Why everytime you come home, you giving the Shitzu all the loving but den you looking at me all sideways? LISA: All you did was stay on dat couch all day and watch TV. You aint do nuthin around da house while I was at work. JOE: Muffy aint do nuthin either. LISA: Muffy's a dog. JOE: So am I... at least according to you, yo.

Answer Da Door

RICH: Someone was buzzing da bell dis morning? JOE: Yeah, I didn't answer it, though. RICH: Why? JOE: I don't answer da door when I'm in my drawers, yo. RICH: But you was up, son. JOE: Thought it was da exterminator or somthn. RICH: You don't think we got bugs, Joe? JOE: Do we...? RICH: I got a package from FEDEX suppose to be coming; if I got a missed delivery slip on da door, you goin to get it, son.

I Engaged the Baby Sitter

RICH: You can't be serious, you got engaged to Ellie? JOE: Yeah,son... so what. RICH: Son, your baby sitter. Don't you think that's a little, you know; weird. JOE: No, she 21. RICH: Yeah but you knew her since she was 16. JOE: Yeah and now she 21, yo. RICH: Whatever, son. Wait till Lisa hear about this. JOE: WHat she goon say, we aint together no more. RICH: Joe, you do understand that when you and Lisa were together, it was Lisa that hired Ellie to watch yall daughter, right? JOE: Um, yeah, don't tell Lisa, Rich, please. Lemme move out your crib first. THat way she can't find me.

Hole Socks

RICH: U was at Mike's Football Party? JOE: Yeah. RICH: What hapn? JOE: He told everybody 2 take off dey shoes. I said I got holes in my socks. Mad chicks dere & all dat. So he say aight. Next thing I know, every word dat come out his mouth is like referencing holes. RICH: Like what? JOE: U no; Hole this, Hole dat... Hole up, Hole snap. Like he trying 2 play me. Chicks start laughing. So I socked him, yo. No pun intended.

On your Knees Bit@%!

JOE: I think Im gonna propose 2 dis chick today but I dont wanna get on my knees 2 do it. RICH: Finally someone mans up. JOE: I, I, I... I was gonna lay down & do it. RICH: What!