I Engaged the Baby Sitter

RICH: You can't be serious, you got engaged to Ellie? JOE: Yeah,son... so what. RICH: Son, your baby sitter. Don't you think that's a little, you know; weird. JOE: No, she 21. RICH: Yeah but you knew her since she was 16. JOE: Yeah and now she 21, yo. RICH: Whatever, son. Wait till Lisa hear about this. JOE: WHat she goon say, we aint together no more. RICH: Joe, you do understand that when you and Lisa were together, it was Lisa that hired Ellie to watch yall daughter, right? JOE: Um, yeah, don't tell Lisa, Rich, please. Lemme move out your crib first. THat way she can't find me.

Hole Socks

RICH: U was at Mike's Football Party? JOE: Yeah. RICH: What hapn? JOE: He told everybody 2 take off dey shoes. I said I got holes in my socks. Mad chicks dere & all dat. So he say aight. Next thing I know, every word dat come out his mouth is like referencing holes. RICH: Like what? JOE: U no; Hole this, Hole dat... Hole up, Hole snap. Like he trying 2 play me. Chicks start laughing. So I socked him, yo. No pun intended.

On your Knees Bit@%!

JOE: I think Im gonna propose 2 dis chick today but I dont wanna get on my knees 2 do it. RICH: Finally someone mans up. JOE: I, I, I... I was gonna lay down & do it. RICH: What!

Dreams...

RICH: Why you gotta subscribe to Robb Report and Luxury Lifestyle Magazines? JOE: Cant a brother dream, yo? RICH: Dream or Fantasize? Order Home Depot, Crate & Barrel or something. JOE: Let me be, Rich. RICH: I have, Joe and look where you at. On my couch going on 2 years. JOE: You want me to leave! RICH: Yes. JOE: Aight cool, gimme a year, yo. RICH: What! Go to Rich and Joe community page on Facebook.

Drinking out the carton, yo

RICH: Someone slipped a note under our door. JOE: What it say? RICH: Says "Rich, ur nasty roommate drinks out of da cartons of juice at night. Watch him" JOE: WTF! Who wrote dat? RICH: Is dis true, son? JOE: Who wrote dat, yo? RICH: I dont no, Joe. We got 3 alleys & 6 windows surrounding us. Whoever can see our kitchen coulda wrote it. Now is it true? JOE: Dey lying, yo. I use a cup den wash it. RICH: Yeah its true